So over the last few days,
people have been tagging me in this video.
Every spider you've ever gingerly captured under a cup
and taken outside and released
died out there. And my first reaction was, huh,
that's weird. Well,
I guess the video is just going around again.
And I say going around again
because I had already seen and replied to this video in 2024.
Or had I?
Because the video that I responded to two years ago was this video.
Every spider that you've ever carefully put a cup over
and slid a piece of paper under
and then gently released outside,
died outside. Same video,
different font. But surely that's where the resemblance ends.
I'm being told that's not where the resemblance ends.
This was one of my first unfun facts several weeks ago,
and a bunch of you didn't believe me.
One of my first ever unfun facts.
And when I told you, people didn't believe me, 2024,
several you pointed out, this sounds like something a spider would say.
2026, they said,
that sounds like something a spider would say.
2024. I know it's true
because I Learned it from a spider scientist several years ago
I met at a party. And I know that that is ambiguous
as to whether that was a scientist who studies spiders
or a spider who went to CO. 2026,
I didn't make it up. I Learned it from a spider scientist,
and I am 98% sure that
That meant that she was a person who studies spiders,
not a spider with a PhD. Okay,
Charlotte, so a content creator is replaying his greatest hits.
Who cares? People do that all the time.
It's douchey and unoriginal,
but it's not immoral. And I don't disagree with that part.
But here's where I start to run into a little problem.
First time Alex used that script in 2024,
his video got somewhere in the ballpark of 9 million views.
And I got tagged so many times by anxious people
wanting to make sure that they weren't doing inadvertent arachnocide,
that I stopped everything that I was doing
while visiting a friend in Canada
to make a reply video. And in that video,
which lasted about five minutes,
to make sure everybody had all the facts,
I explained that, yes,
there are some species of spiders
that have been habituated to living alongside humans indoors,
and if you take them outside,
they will very likely die.
However, there are many, many,
many, many more species of outdoor spider
who will die if they do not get taken back outside.
Remember, not all spiders build webs.
And it's very common for those species to end up inside human houses
because they accidentally tracked prey or a potential mate inside.
It is perfectly fine to take a wolf spider or a grass spider
or a jumping spider back outside whence they came.
If you ever see an orb weaver,
you know. Orb weaver,
They're the Charlotte's web spiders.
They're the spiders who build the webs that you think of
when you think of spider webs.
If you ever see an orb weaver in your house,
please take her back outside.
She is very, very lost,
and in fact,
she we'll starve to death if she doesn't get back out there.
Now, when I explained this the first time in 2024,
my video got something like 300,000,
330,000 views, which is pretty good.
It's not 9 million views, but it's pretty good.
And I assumed that eventually Alex would probably see it,
would probably make its way back to him.
But he never replied, he never commented,
he didn't reach out to me,
he didn't make a video about it,
but guess no indication that he had seen it.
He moved on with his life,
and I moved on with mine. Which brings us to the other day
when he made almost exactly the same video verbatim,
except for a couple of new things.
Corporate needs you to find the difference between this picture
my Roman Empire is that there are species of spiders
who have become habituated to living inside
alongside human beings since at least the Roman Empire.
And this picture. Other humans agree.
Most house spiders have evolved to live inside human structures
since the Roman Empire. This picture are incredibly relatable
and that they, like us,
have forgotten the wild. And this picture.
You don't know how to live outside.
If You take them out there,
they will die. And I find that very relatable.
They're the same picture. Yeah.
Can I prove that Alex Falcone,
a person so pathologically unoriginal,
he routinely plagiarizes himself,
not only saw my original correction video two years ago
and conveniently ignored it,
he actually lifted content from that video
and regurgitated it in his do over from the other day.
Without ever intending to acknowledge my existence?
Of course not. That would be a fallacious claim on the other Tarsus.
Alex never let the facts get in the way of his good time.
So why should I let them stop me?
What would I have Alex do about this?
Well, I think he answered that pretty succinctly himself the other day.
You know,
again, just say,
thank you for your service,
Charlotte, and let them wander on.
Hi, Alex.
My name is Charlotte, and I have not yet been thanked for my service.
Now, look,
I acknowledge that this is very stupid.
This is a very silly argument to be having.
This is incredibly trivial.
We all got bigger fish to fry.
So why do I care? Well,
I'm so glad you asked. First of all,
I deeply resent any creator who deliberately misleads
or manipulates their audience into a state of anxiety,
knowing that anxious people react,
reactive people engage. And engagement gets you paid.
The aristocrats. And I really,
really have no fucking patience for creators who,
after being publicly corrected,
just Double down on being loud and wrong.
But even more than either of those,
um, I'm just one of many creators on this app who,
through education and enthusiasm and leading by example,
have worked really hard to encourage our audiences.
You, to do hard things,
to ask hard questions, to challenge your own world views about things.
And arachnophobia is one of the most pervasive phobias in the world.
And even if you're not actively phobic about spiders,
a lot of people are nervous or anxious about them
or don't understand them.
And a lot of people feel that they make progress
towards feeling more comfortable about spiders.
The first time they managed to put one in a little cup
and take it outside.
My friends text me all the time when they have done this successfully
for the first time, even when their hands are shaking.
And when you come on here and tell people that
not only was that the wrong thing to do,
but they've probably done more harm than good in doing that,
you have undone the progress that we have made and they have made.
There is no sure way to stop someone from trying
than to give them a fucking reason not not to try.
Well, if I'm just gonna kill them anyway,
then why bother?
I know I should probably just leave them alone in that corner,
but I can't tell the difference between a good spider and a bad spider.
Or A house spider and outdoor spider.
So fuck it, I'm coming after them with the shoe.
Both times Alex posted that video,
I got tags and texts and DMS followers,
and from friends
who were very concerned that they had done something wrong,
including people whose hands I have held,
both virtually or literally,
as they have correctly taken outdoor animals back outdoors.
And he didn't do it because he was trying to teach you something,
and he didn't do it because he was trying to help these animals.
He did it because he thought it was funny,
and because he knew that you were gonna be too worked up
to ask any other questions about it.
And while every spider enthusiast and entomologist
is doing damage control that nobody is going to see,
he can sit back
confident in the knowledge that that Paypal deposit on May 15th
is gonna look pretty, pretty fucking good.
You know what? I know that nobody's watched this far,
and I know that nobody gives a shit,
so I'm gonna go ahead and wrap it up.
Uh, in his latest video,
Alex says this. You care about the spider's lives,
or you just want to appease Spider God?
All you have to do. Ignore them.
Let them be. Actually,
if you want to appease the spider gods,
and there are more than one, Alex,
they are legion. And their many lidless eyes are always watching.
Don't get on the worldwide web and tell lies.
About the children of Loth Ungoliant,
Shelob and Anansi, for they have sent me their most annoying Avatar,
and I know some pig when I see one.