you know what I don't wanna hear anymore?
I don't wanna hear anymore this BS
about how sexual abuse allegations can ruin a man's life
now let me tell you why
my husband (now former husband)
went to prison for sexually abusing our daughter
his daughter — my daughter
—our daughter
…this wasn't just allegations
this was convicted he confessed to it everything
these were charges of aggravated sexual abuse of a child
the aggravated part was because he was a person in a special position of trust
a parent so you would think after something like that
there is no shot at having a normal life again
wrong well
when he gets out of prison
he's not gonna have anywhere to go right wrong
he had multiple people who were willing to take him in
after he got out of prison
and he did end up living with multiple family members when he got out
well okay
he'll never live on his own right
nor will rent to him
wrong
he's renting places just fine
okay but he's on the sex offender registry
so people have to be notified about him right
wrong
in fact for a while
he was recently holding a leadership calling in his church
where he LED the group of
you know see
it's called Elders Quorum in the Mormon Church
and it's basically the men who are of like
family raising age or typically the ones who are in elders quorum
he was her president he was made their leader
he was trusted just fine
in fact in fact
he was never excommunicated from the church for this
he was he never like
I don't know how familiar I was with Mormon churches
but men can hold something that's called the priesthood
which is kind of a special authority
um that generally signifies to people that this person is trustworthy
and is upholding their promises to god etc
his priesthood was never taken from him
despite what he did to his daughter
well okay
but like
he's never gonna find a job right
oh he just does his own stuff
I mean yes
he has found jobs
but he also just runs his own business and just plays a part of a friendly
goofy guy and people trust him and do business for them
people don't think to look in someone's background
okay but like
he'll never ever find another partner
he'll never find a girlfriend
he'll never find a wife wrong
a while ago I found out he was dating a woman who had three children
two of them were daughters
teenage daughters
and recently I found out he's married
different woman but he convinced another woman to trust him
and I'm guessing most of her family and friends too
otherwise probably wouldn't have gone through right
people are commenting on Facebook and oh congratulations
we're so happy for you guys
so clearly they're not disapproving of this relationship
which means they don't know or they don't know the truth
all you have to do is tell somebody that they were somehow manipulated
that the victim was manipulated
that it was overblown the charges were blown out of proportion
etcetera etcetera
and suddenly people are like
oh he seems such a good guy
I I feel so bad for what happened to him right
and suddenly he becomes a victim
now before I knew for sure what was going on
before I really definitely knew that he was abusing our daughter
but I started to think oh
oh my god
this might be happening
I remember thinking if I'm wrong and I accuse him of this
I'm going to ruin his life
and I know there are so many victims out there
and so many mothers of victims
are so many people who have a victim in their life
who they love and they are aware is being abused
or they suspect is being abused
and they're afraid to make that report because
oh man it's gonna ruin his life
all we have to do is look to our current president of United States
to know that is not true it will not ruin your life
will it inconvenience their life absolutely
will this be something incredibly damaging to their reputation etcetera
yeah and it should be
you know who doesn't get to just pick up and build a brand new life
their victim
and studies show the level of support that a victim receives
is directly tied to how well
how completely and how quickly
that victim can get on the road to healing and become a survivor
less than 2% of allegations turn out to be false
and of known sexual abuse allegations
less than 10% end up having to serve time
be convicted or held accountable in any way
one in four girls under the age of 18 experiences sexual abuse in their life
from an adult
and that adult is usually in a position of trust
and is usually a family member and is often a parent
so if you suspect sexual abuse
let me tell you now
reporting that suspicion is not going to ruin a life
ignoring that suspicion is highly likely to ruin a life