[0:00]
do you remember the first time as a kid you perceived that the clothes you were wearing were not “in style” because I feel like this is a pivotal moment in everyone's life because as a child you're just wearing whatever your parents bought for you but there is a point somewhere along the way when somebody makes fun of what you're wearing and says nobody wears that and did you have anyone in your life who could explain to you what is going on because I didn't and I think I was a full decade behind the other kids. But I remember this 
[0:33]
I was in middle school and noticed one day a couple of the kids had their pants rolled up at the bottom had them cuffed and I thought oh their mom bought them pants that are too long they've had to roll them up but then the next week a few more kids are doing it like that and then a few more and then eventually most of the kids are doing it like this and then it reaches a critical mass where you are made fun of if you're not doing it like this and some of us became very frustrated by this kind of thing because the rules were always very arbitrary often silly 
[1:03]
and maybe you had an older sibling or a grown up you could ask and say why today is everyone tucking in just half of their shirt why is this now the rule and maybe they would say something like well this is what you have to do to fit in this is what the cool kids are doing if you say yeah but why what they probably could not articulate is that the rules are arbitrary on purpose that this is a filtering mechanism and if you want to get invited to parties if you wanna be able to make friends and get dates you will learn these rules 
[1:33]
and if you say well I don't want to fit in they'll say that's fine just find a different group and then fit in with them learn their uniform and if you say well yeah what about this guy he's not dressing like everybody else they will say he was one of the two exceptions he is either athletic charismatic or attractive enough that it doesn't matter or he is breaking the rules in a way that demonstrates that he knows the rules and then do you remember the first time you entered the job market and had to buy job interview clothes for example for me this was the first time I ever had to buy a suit 
[2:05]
and I went to the store and Learned that there are all of these rules that your sleeves are supposed to end at an exact spot on your wrist that the cuff of your pants is supposed to break over your shoes in just a certain way and most important you never button the second button that is the forbidden button the button is there the hole is there but apparently it's only there as a test as a temptation because they would never hire someone who is so foolish to think these are both to be buttoned and of course this is just as arbitrary as the cuffed pants 
[2:37]
but it serves the exact same purpose it is a filter that it's equally about can you do the job and can you perform as a member of their social class the class that runs everything that unless you are extraordinary in some way unless you are extremely talented or skilled or attractive that the one skill that is the most valuable in society is the ability to perceive and notice their stupid rules and then fall in line