you know what just give me a card for
Valentine's Day it's fine just a simple
card like nothing fancy or you know what
just like make me a car a craft winch it
shows your consideration when you craft
a car just get like a piece of paper and
write me a love letter do you remember
the love letters that we used to write
each other the art of Love Letters is
lost
you know what I want from Valentine's
Day your feelings expressed to me in a
letter and you could tell me like not
only why you love me but like where you
see us in five years
okay I'm ready for my gift of some
surprise
oh a hand written card on paper you got
from the printer and Sharpie did you use
a Sharpie on an unprotected counter in
our house so you did exactly what I
asked and absolutely nothing more no
it's fine it's fine it's fine Happy
Valentine's Day to me I'm just gonna put
this in the Scrapbook I'll be right back
oh my gosh honey do not buy me flowers
they're like 132 dollars for like seven
flowers and some baby's breath you do
not need to spend money on flowers we
could spend it on so many other more
important things like water bottles
why do you tilt your head back when
you're drinking out of a straw oh wait
hang on you're right
is that better yes okay we don't have to
be that couple that just always shows
each other how much they love each other
by putting things on credit cards oh the
doorbell did someone get me flowers even
though I told them they didn't have to I
knew you'd get me something better than
that stupid letter
oh
hmm that's not flowers it's just the dog
supplements that I ordered the stuff
that I do because I do most things here
oh look there's a delivery truck oh Paul
got Susan a really nice arrangement of
flowers yeah no no it's fine no I no I
know I said that but do you remember
when you just bought me that ridiculous
bouquet that had a teddy bear in it and
it was like six feet tall and had a
trampoline underneath it freaking Susan
of course she gets some flowers
time it's fine our love doesn't need
really nice wizard nice flowers we do
not need to go out to dinner on
Valentine's Day first of all it's a
school night and mama needs her sleep
second of all the crowds no thank you
thirdly of all like Valentine's Day it's
the day for like people who have just
started to date and it's so obvious you
make the best frittatas why don't you
just make me a Valentine's frittata wait
no the price of eggs is ridiculous the
frittata would cost 600 don't make me
make me toast just Valentine's post and
we'll eat like I love toast
this is the full dinner this is all that
we made for me and you and we do have a
family so we're staying in and we're
eating two pieces of bread it's fine I
know that's what you said it's just it's
because like we need food so I'm just
you know no big deal but as usual I'm
going to make dinner just gonna we've
got some frozen chicken breasts in the
instant pot like that and I'm just gonna
you know I just need like 15 minutes if
it's okay your wife is gonna make dinner
I know this is what I asked for it's
fine
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time
this is gonna sound so hokey but you
know what would be great for Valentine's
Day just a nice foot massage on the
couch all you'd have to do is just make
me like a little homemade coupon that
just says free coupon or coupon however
you say it
this is your best stuff
this is your A-game foot massage are you
just like specifically working the bone
It's really thumby because I had a
thumbs maybe use both hands using both
hands is great you're using one hand and
you're watching uh college basketball
and it's very thumby
scene I'm so low maintenance I am so low
maintenance for Valentine's Day I don't
want anything until the day come and
then I'm like why don't you get me
anything why are we going out to dinner
but every year I do this I'm like don't
spend the money
do that and then freaking Susan gets
flowers
and I'm like where am I where's my love
I want to mention also that this was
entirely written by my wife
um it's this is me it's a problem I
don't disagree uh he's trying to be so
careful well you like listen I you don't
really openly say it you say it with
your eyes like you have a thing just get
me a card yeah but seriously don't get
me anything
do you exchange gifts on Valentine's Day
and if you don't
tell me how you're not past Progressive
about it anyway Happy Valentine's Day
bye check out the whole thing
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